On Being a "FAN" or a fan

[Edcognito]

Ok, this is something that i've thought about quite a bit. For the longest time (since my early 20's) i've liked various music, groups, singers and whatnot, but I havn't really been a fan. The thread on "what would you do if you saw Alizée walking down the street in your city" got me thinking.

When i started to consider the idea (however EXTREMELY remote) that I might actually see Alizée in person, I found myself having a reaction! (No, not THAT reaction!) While i was typing away, I realized that my pulse had speeded up! Nothing more than that, but i was surprised indeed!

I've always found the "capital F" fans (FANS) to be somewhat of a mystery to me. I have liked a very diverse group of musicians/artists over the years, everything from Simon and Garfunkel to Heart, to the Pretenders, Def Leppard, Patty Smyth and Devo (literally dozens more, but you get my point). I liked their music, and looked forward to a new album, but that was it really. I never tried to find out anything more about them other than when the next album/song was coming out, and concert dates. I didn't need to know anything about their home life, I honestly didn't care. I certainly never felt the need to visit fan sites (although to be honest, the "intra-web" didn't exist as such then...).

With Lili, I can watch "Stars e' Domicile - 2003" over and over, and every time she walks in the door and Jessica sees her, I get all misty-eyed! I can just imagine that moment of SHOCK, delight, awe, shyness - the whole thing! At other times i watch "La Isla Bonita" and fall into her eyes. This has never happened to me before, at all, ever.

I find myself amused at myself! Here is a 46 yr. old guy, happily married, with 2 step-children (16 son and 22 daughter) 4 dogs, 2 horses, a good job, many good friends - and i'm visiting a fan site at least 2 or 3 or 4 times a week, looking for news about a singer in France! Sometimes i step outside myself and go "self? are you nuts?!?" And my answer is "I don't think so..."

My daughter is getting married in June, and at the end of June (as a wedding gift) my family with daughter's new hubbie are traveling to Wales (England) to visit friends. I keep hoping that Alizée comes out with an album before then, and that she happens to have concerts scheduled about then, so that maybe i could go cross-channel and see her. I don't think my wife would mind, she might pick on me mercilessly, but I think she would let me go. I just find this very strange for me...

Do you guys/gals feel sometimes the same way? Surprised at your reactions to this woman? Is this just a function of the fact that the Internet exists now, where 25 years ago, it didn't for me?

Do I need counseling?

I'm interested to hear your thoughts!

Ed