Missing In Action

[Toc De Mac]

RMJ, even though I've never formally talked to you, I've read many of your posts on AF and on this forum. Believe it or not, you were one of the main reasons that I decided to sign up to this forum; because I saw what genuinely nice people posted here. All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck in recovering from whatever happens to be plaguing you at the moment.

It will pass, and we will be here to help you through it. Keep on fighting, keep on wanting to get better, and keep on thinking of the great things to come (Alizée's return included! ).

You mean very much to a lot of people, myself included.

[marik]

Originally Posted by RMJ

I'm alive...

For now...

welcome back RMJ! im so worried about you! so i hope youll be active again!








this is gonna be a good month





! Alizée!

[Jess]

In case anyone hasn't seen it yet, here's RMJ's last wp with Alizée crying... and his sig with the words 'no future' on it - in english....

[espire]

RMJ has also, for the short moments he was seen on IRC, acted in a way that would show the same thing.

Though there can be all sorts of theories as to why he's not with us, but he's got a life outside of Alizée, as we all do, and there's obviously something going on there that we have no business in.

Think of him long enough to make a memory...

[Alizee_is_Scottish!]

Sorry to hear he is having such a crap time just now.

RMJ, we'll keep your seat warm here for you and have a cyber drink ready for when you come back.

I hope you're not as stubborn as British guys and get youself down to your doctor for a chat. (Have to say that, ex-nurse, have to keep them docs in a job )

Will look forward to seeing you back!

[fsquared]

RMJ provided a somewhat fuller discussion on AF:

http://www.alizee-forum.com/showthread.php?t=19741

I'm of course concerned for him as well and I hope he gets better soon, and I think I echo the concerns of a lot of people on the forum.

[marik]

i already saw that pic and in his sig says a que ne jeunne refuile? it must be a contre-courant right?

[Uméesha]

Originally Posted by RMJ

I'm not good to apology but I try anyways...

I want to apology my behavior some days ago. I quite likely hurt some people by saying things the way that doesn't belong on this board. I could have said little nicer way what I said. The worst things is that I hurt even my own friends by those words. But what is done is done. So all I can do now is to apology it. Even tho we all are allowed to say our opinions, it should be done proper way.

But I have explain little bit my situation... (every know specie is self defensive... it's the way of evolution)

I'm currently really down and bad mood. This has been continued for couple weeks at least, I'm not aware of time anymore. I live every moment in pain inside me, the pressure of life. I have tried to kill the pain many ways, working around the clock, 7 days a week, for example. But it only makes me more tired... and moody... That's only fraction of the problem, but some idea what I'm going through.

Because of my tiredness and moodyness, I have been away from forums and instant messengers as much as possible. Even tho I feel the need to talk to my friends, talk to you, I can't come here nor to chats because I know I would eventually hurt someone. Quite like now happened. Only if I hadn't made the thread... Only if could have seen my current state and understood the words I wrote... Only if you could have understood the feelings I had and have... You could have understood that it wasn't me anymore behind the words, not normal me anyways. But that's the problem of written text. You can't see my face, you can't feel what I feel. You only see rude text, without seeing the person and his feelings behind it. How could have anyone guessed. It's not your fault of course. But I don't think it's not mine either really. It's just unfortunate miscommunication. The failure of written text.

I don't mean that it wasn't rude and wasn't my fault and my text of course. I apology what I did and I'm truly sorry for it. But I also hope that you understand that I'm in good condition right now. Everyday is living hell for me, so it took only little push to loose it.



But even if it's accidental, and now matter in how bad condition I am, I'm not good example for the community. And it's not proper behavior for anyone, not even for staff. And especially for staff. So, I will remove my moderatorship from this moment on, until I feel better again, to prevent any further possible bad examples. I joined the staff because I was asked if I want to help the community, to which I said yes. And now I think that the best way is to do this, so that shall be done.


Altho, I doubt I write much here anyways. Moderator or not. As you have seen, I have not much been here in the past couple weeks. Reason is simple, I'm too tired to write. And I'm too depressed to write. If I write something, it will come out most likely the wrong way. It's unfortunate tho, since I have seen many threads where I could have helped but I'm too afraid to write because I'm not sure how to put it right way. So it's better just to leave it...

Not that I wouldn't want to write here. I love Alizée as much as ever, and I want to talk about her, I want to create graphics related to her, and everything what makes me happy, everything that makes life worth living for... but I'm too down and too afraid of talking. I'm afraid that someone chooses his/her words wrong and I go mad again. My feelings on her is very, very stong, and now when everything causes just pain, I feel even more on her. She's the only thing to keep me going. Even small thing can push me over the line, to turn my protective side all on. To let the heart do the talking, without control.


I also would like to note that my absence is not because of Alizée. I have said I stay aside of her no matter what and that still applies. I can, and I will wait for her till the end of my life. She can take all the time she needs, I'm not mad at her nor do I expect her to show up before she is ready, nor do I want her to do anything against her own will. I can wait. As long as it takes. I stay away from the board only to protect her other fans. Because I can't control myself, I cannot risk the board. Hurting her real fans is equally bad as hurting her. So it's not a risk I can take.


I hope you can forgive me what I have done, or at least understand why I did it. What I did was no more in my own control but I have to take responsibility of it anyways. That's the way of life. If you can't forgive me nor understand what I did, so it be. I have spoken things straight, nothing more I can do.

RMJ has already quoted the message to apologize everybody and he gave the reason that he is in bad mood and not to response for few days untill he comes back to normal. is the tiredness being the problem to do such things?

so RMJ the best way to get rid of relaxation is to visit some of the calm places and take some time to excersice(Physically and mentally) such as Meditation, Yoga... when ever you feel free... and once when you come back to normal on the same side alizee's album will be released! so always perform to be in a peacefull life!

[marik]

Originally Posted by Umesh

RMJ has already quoted the message to apologize everybody and he gave the reason that he is in bad mood and not to response for few days untill he comes back to normal. is the tiredness being the problem to do such things?

so RMJ the best way to get rid of relaxation is to visit some of the calm places and take some time to excersice(Physically and mentally) such as Meditation, Yoga... when ever you feel free... and once when you come back to normal on the same side alizee's album will be released! so always perform to be in a peacefull life!

i agree! good tip Uméesh!

[Zack -Alizee Lover-]

What about Cooney?
Greg?
Sir Wood?
aFrenchie?
Spartan5000?
dvtq?
urb4n?
Mibir... Well he lives in the chat room anyways.
(list can continue on and on)