Alternate translations: JEAM, ACC, and JPVA

[Cooney]

Originally Posted by aFrenchie

Yes.

Ok, change made!

Originally Posted by aFrenchie

In the lyrics link in my previous post, they use "Of the time that flies". I think it's good too.

Hmmm. That feels to me like it loses a little bit of the threat (la menace) she sings about. It seems like she would feel more threatened by times that force them apart, than she would by time that goes quickly.

Originally Posted by aFrenchie

Yes it's the same. But it doesn't necessarily imply that you're leaving someone. Basically, it just means that you're going away.

Thanks, good to know!

[garçoncanadien]

and you know Cooney, Mylène herself said that she derives great entertainment out of being vague. She enjoys being mysterious - that's why she writes vague French as well

[mbehna]

By the way I also noticed that some translations were not as "correct" as the original.

For example in the song "Toc de mac" ... in the last section :

Les fleurs du mal "aimé"
C'est le livre le mieux pour l'été!

has been translated as
The "beloved" flowers of evil
It's the best book for the summer!

While technically correct, I believe the words
Les fleurs du mal "aimé"
refer to Baudelaire's Les_Fleurs_du_mal collection of poems... Just a small clarification that there is no reference to evil or such.

Anyways, the whole song is kind of about the infatuation/admiration for an "intellectual"!

[mbehna]

In Cooney's post, he says:

4: "Electroaimant" means Electromagnet. The lyrics are written "Electro-aimant" however, with a hyphen seperating the word "aimant" from the rest. Aimant by itself can mean magnet, or it can also mean loving. I choose to read the double meaning of electromagnetic love.

5: This one gave me problems. "Allocutions" literally means speeches (or allocutions - it's a word in English as well). Without an electrical metaphor here, I substituted "times" to try and capture what I think she is saying, ie, she won't tell him no more than six times.

I would like to say that regarding #5 speeches is more accurate than times. As for #4 electromagnet is technically correct but can also be "read" as electric-loving - "electromagnetic love" is pushing a little.


Also in the original french
On se statique
Quand je lui dis non,

Which Cooney translates to

We are static
When I tell him 'no'

But I would say a more meaningful translation is
We don't hear each other
When I tell him 'no'

where 'statique' is a verb form of 'making static noise'.

Anyways, I just wanted to clarify a few items and hopefully add to a better understanding of the lyrics.

[Cooney]

Originally Posted by mbehna

I would like to say that regarding #5 speeches is more accurate than times. As for #4 electromagnet is technically correct but can also be "read" as electric-loving - "electromagnetic love" is pushing a little.

Aye, both of those are bows to American comprehension, at the expense of literal accuracy. The use of "times" instead of "speeches" is totally inaccurate as far as the word itself goes. "Not more than six speeches" however makes no sense whatsoever in English, and isn't even a grammatically correct sentence. For that reason, I tried to change it to something that would capture the same idea, rather than the precise word.

I'll plead guilty as charged on the electromagnetic love bit. That is one of the lines in the song that defies translation for both its possible meaning. Because the French word can mean both things without change, it gets a double entendre we lose in English. If I made it just "electro-love" we love the magnet reference (important, because of the champs-magnetique lines later), and if I made it just "electromagnet" we lose the play that allows it to be people in love. I ended up just writing out both meanings, and sticking them together. Though it still loses the specific "magnet" reference, I think the closest I could get in English would be to call it the school of "electro-attraction," which seemed kind of clunky.

Also in the original french
On se statique
Quand je lui dis non,

But I would say a more meaningful translation is
We don't hear each other
When I tell him 'no'

where 'statique' is a verb form of 'making static noise'.

Ah, very good! I wasn't familiar with the verb form of statique (Statiquer?), and was a bit curious about the reflexive on it. I'd ended up with "we turn ourselves to static" rather than "we make static (noise) between eachother." That definitely adds something to the understanding there, and shifts the meaning of what I'd put afterwords. The challenge now is for me to figure out how to imply the inability to hear, without losing the "static" reference that is important to the song's electrical metaphor.

Anyways, I just wanted to clarify a few items and hopefully add to a better understanding of the lyrics.

Very much obliged! I hope to have another set of three songs done soon, ready for comment by anybody who's so inclined.

Oh, and welcome to the boards!

[RMJ]

Originally Posted by mbehna

As for #4 electromagnet is technically correct but can also be "read" as electric-loving - "electromagnetic love" is pushing a little.

Yes, it's electric-loving, electro-loving or something like that. The "magnetic" isn't supposed to be part of it. It's a word play, double meaning.



And as a side note...

Since someone mentioned "Allocution"... It actually has "electric metaphor" (term used used by that someone). It is again word play I believe: "Allocution" / "Allocation". "Allocution" doesn't exactly have the relation to electricity, but "allocation" does have. The latter means about same as "addressing". Which is term used when talking about microprosessor's (CPUs) way to handle data. To address something.



I'll read through the full translation someday and all comments... Since I might have something to comment about.

[mbehna]

Just as a side note about ACC ... I may be reading way toooooooooooooooooooo much into the undertones of this song... but I wonder if the writer of the song (a female) was not writing about her electric lover ( wink wink ).

As for the verb statiquer - it really does not exist per se... but as words make it into daily usage, it is not uncommon to take a noun and make a verb of it. All cultures do it... e.g. incentivize in the USA.

PS. to RMJ

Regarding 'allucation' -> allocation... yeah I understand the possiblilities but the 'extension' is purely imaginary and subjective. To think that the writer was familiar with terms for addressing schemes in CPUs and so on... is a 'stretch' and hence unlikely in the context.

[RMJ]

Like I said, it's my opinion. But I really believe it relates to that. Not exactly to CPUs, that was just one simple example.

But what comes to ACC itself, yes, it's story of two lovers. And you don't even need to dig deep into it to realize it. But no, it's not about "electric lover" ( something that you might have over internet forexample ).

It tells about love of two real person who has been couple.

The electricity is just a cover up for all that. The electricity does not relate to the love story any way. The real story is just written with alternative words. With words of electricity. And in that sence, it's masterpiece. It's amazing how Mylène was able to build this song. I really love it.

[Deepwaters]

Originally Posted by RMJ

It tells about love of two real person who has been couple.

The electricity is just a cover up for all that. The electricity does not relate to the love story any way. The real story is just written with alternative words. With words of electricity.

I disagree. It is a song about two lovers (whether they're real people or not I don't know), but the electricity theme isn't just alternate words. It's a reference to something impacting on love: invisible currents of energy, connecting two people who are separated in space and time (note the recurrent mention of both of those, space and time), overcoming that separation, joining like an electromagnet, which pulls even at what it isn't touching. Also the danger of personal erasement in such a powerful love (electrocution), with passion being the only protection.

It's a powerful theme. Although I could be mistaken, I would expect that it was Alizée herself who most likely proposed the theme, although it was of course Mylene who wrote the actual lyrics. I understand that the two of them worked together like that.

[mal]

Jeam

I like this translation re couples better than slow cars. Its deeper and less petty.

"3: This line gave me fits, in chief because I'm still not used to hearing "only" as a negative ("ne... que"). Strictly speaking, I believe this line could come out as "Who only go out on time as a couple,"